Well, I’m a dumbfuck right-wing asshole without a clue
I do anything the racist in the White House tells me to do
I get all my beliefs from far-right email newsletters
Their bigotry always makes me feel so much better
These days, I’ve been kind of reeling
I need a new conspiracy to believe in
The facts didn’t support my views
So I’m off to find some new ones
Give me a conspiracy I can use
‘Cause I’m a no class, white trash, right-wing American dumbass
You won’t find me at any of your lectures
I deal exclusively in conjecture
I don’t remember how to form an original thought
I just repeat whatever they say on Fox
These days, I’ve been kind of reeling
I need a new conspiracy to believe in
I have no personality traits
Except endless immigrant hate
Another hot conspiracy would be great
‘Cause I’m a thoughtless, heartless, piece-of-shit American dumbass
My heart grows three times bigger
Every time a white person says...
I love it when the rich get richer
It’s the fucking best
I vote with my hate instead of with my mind
My bigotry is colorblind
I like people that look like mine
And fuck the rest
Lately, I haven’t quite been myself
A new conspiracy sure would help
I like the really fucking insane ones
Just give me a reason to buy more guns
A brand new conspiracy could be fun
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